Of course, when you're in an abusive relationship, all of this is much easier said than done. As strange as it may sound, abuse may be the reason many people stay.
What Is Trauma Bonding and How Does It Work?
Trauma attachments are addictive loops, according to Carnes. The abuser traps the victim by misusing fear, excitement, and sexual sensations. The victim is completely unaware of the relationship by the time it has been established.
The site states,
"The cycle of being devalued and then rewarded works to create a strong chemical and hormonal bond."
Relationship Signs Of Abusive Or Toxic Dynamics
First and first, it's critical to consider the big picture. In abusive or toxic circumstances, trauma attachments form. To recognize a trauma bond, you must first recognize the abuse.
Domestic violence is frequently associated with physical violence. Abuse can take various forms in reality. Some people are more subdued than others.
Jealousy, controlling conduct, and unrealistic expectations are all warning indicators of an abusive relationship. Abuse can take many forms, including verbal, emotional, sexual, and physical.
There's fire where there's smoke. You may be trauma bonded if you recognize any of these themes in your relationships.
Signs That You're In A Trauma Bond
Out of fear, victims may defend their partners. They may, nevertheless, feel obligated to their abuser. An abuser, for example, can hold a mistake made by the victim early in the relationship over the victim's head.
As a result, the victim is too ashamed to leave. Worse, the victim may believe that they are deserving of the abuse.
Victims of trauma bonds are also more likely to take on various â€œrolesâ€ for their spouses. They are a friend, therapist, father, teacher, and babysitter in addition to being their abuser's lover.
What Is The Purpose Of Your Trauma Bond?
So, at this point, I believe it is vital to state that trauma bonding is not your fault.
Trauma ties are more likely to form as a result of a number of causes. Poor mental health, low self-esteem, and financial troubles are all risk factors. Bullying history, a lack of support system, and a lack of personal identity all raise the risk.
Disorganized attachment styles can result from past maltreatment, particularly in childhood. As a result, according to Health.com, abuse victims would "seek protection and safety from the same person who is instigating their need for safety or who is the source of their anxieties."
To put it clearly, if you're in a trauma bond, it's entirely your abuser's fault. Domestic abuse victims are never to blame for the abuse they are subjected to.
How to Forever Break Trauma Bonds
According to medical authorities on Health.com, the first step is to re-establish contact with family and friends. If you're unable to do so, try making new friends. It is critical to have a strong support system.
Then, attempt to reclaim as much autonomy as possible. Get a job, particularly if you're financially reliant on your abuser. Separate yourself from your abuser by pursuing outside activities.
Consult a support group or a mental health professional for assistance. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can help you if you don't know of any in your region.